Love Letters – 4

LOVE LETTERS – 4

(1986)

JULIE VALENTINE

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Beloved To Me,

At the sweet dulcet tones of your voice my heart is greatly stirred and I am become aware of it pitching, rearing and reeling in my chest. My soul has become deeply penetrated with the thought of you as I long to proudly declare you mine.

There can be no substitute in my soul for you, nothing can dislodge your memory from my mind, or reason with my heart which is become utterly crushed under the burden of the weight of my love for you.

I cannot be assured by the torrent of words which howl in my mind that I may survive for a day without you. Your absolute possession of my soul is the ultimate summit of your power over me. You have so villainously stolen my heart which I irredeemably offered up to you. My head is unbalanced with the words that fill my mind, I am giddy with height, as I tremble indeed in my yearning and love for you.

A sort of madness, a nightmare of confusion and mystification overcomes me when I am disposed to think of you. It is an unnerving experience to recall the hammering in my heart which grows wild with frenzy when I consider the precious hours spent with you.

I cherish the happiness we have known and my soul is uplifted, and dancing on air in the thought that our love will endure.

I observe the days slipping mercilessly by and with the passage of time I am gloriously aware of the changes wrought upon my adoration of you. I have studied your face and observed your benevolent smile as one glance from you revives in my soul the intoxicating feelings of overwhelming affection and involvement with you.

When your gentle whisperings fall upon my ears, I am to moved by the sweet sound to notice the clamouring of my heart, the words you murmur reach deep inside of me and sooth the aching in my heart, it is a revelation to my soul that you consider me so.

When we are apart and I am again drawn to wistful thoughts of you, the passage of hours, of days, shrinks your image in my mind but I am held suspended, almost like a dream, as I am aware that you appear so close to me that I may feel your breath on my cheek. My heart tumbles and falls that you are displaced from me, an errant tear escapes my blinking eye as I look to the future again with dread, question and fear that all my sentiments and feelings may be destroyed, lost in total extinction that surrounds me, that I may experience the terrors of hell.

I am transfixed, held despairingly in time, dismayed in the torment that I may suffer your bitterest taunts, be disliked and despised, wholly unwanted by you.

The thought of this freezes my spine as I drive myself desperately, impatiently intrigued to know that you are not wholly averse to me, will not cast me aside, that I may be reassuredly secure in the belief that you are not vengeful or suffer misdeeds to be done but are decent and true. I cannot be persuaded that our love will endure to eternity but hope again is raised in my soul as I pretend not to hear the sad sombre words and strange aberrations in my mind. I pray you do not condemn me to a fate such as this.

My wandering thoughts leap out of the depths of darkness into the brilliantly sparkling sun, as once again I am desperately smitten with a desire to parade my love for you. I linger long over erotic thoughts of you and yearn to exclaim that you are adored, faultless in my eyes. That I have not spoken these words in our moments together, I can only defend by the truth that I suffer unaccountable shyness in your presence and would blush to the roots of my hair and tremble in my embarrassment of you.

From moment to moment, thoughts erratically explode in my mind, of how pleasurable an experience our love might be. I long unendingly to be deeply penetrated, forcibly stirred, to give myself wholly over to you, to drown in your passionate embrace and be taught and lectured in the ways of love that are most excitingly fulfilling to you, to languish in your love for ever.

X X X

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Go to Lover Letter 5 – https://julievparsons.wordpress.com/love-letters/lve-letters-5/

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