Love Letters – 3

LOVE LETTERS – 3

(1986)

JULIE VALENTINE

.

Blue moon

.

My Dearest,

I ponder long, yet still cannot comprehend the mysterious, captivating power you have over me. Every moment that passes I grow more and more conscious of you. When I cannot be with you, I hold the vision of you in my mind’s eye and never does life seem so good to me than when I am near you.

I grow impatient for your presence and am filled with resolution to proclaim to you the tumult in my heart; it beats as though encased in iron.

As each interminable day draws to a close, I am as now, immobilised, reduced to my present state, not caring, demoralised, weeping with fatigue and despondence. You cannot conceive what mania possesses me to pass and re-pass recklessly where you are, urging you to show yourself that I may catch a fleeting glimpse of you, although I know full well that such a glimpse would stir feelings in me and wrench my heart.

I feel as though a thousand eyes are upon me, making a spectacle of their pity for me as they direct to me their looks of utter distress that I am so weak, a poor creature in every way, that I do not appear to have the love and affection of any man or even one who is moderately fond.

When days pass and I do not hear from you, I fall prey to all kinds of apprehensions which invariably seem as nothing when at last I am with you or hear your voice, but I purposefully refrain from discussing my sentiment as I am content in your obligingness and the gratification of your desires.

Sometimes in solitude I shut my eyes for a while to relive again the moments spent with you and I always retain an exact awareness of each occurrence as it rises confusedly from the mist in my mind and I recall my misgivings and anxieties, but there is nothing so beautiful as the intimacies of passion. I long to be wanton with you, so utterly engrossed in our possession of one another.

You provoke a thousand desires in me, my soul goes out to you and I long to draw you down to me and listen to you murmur breathlessly in ecstasy. To hold you there and observe the tenderness in your eyes. When we are together I am aware of the rhythmic pulsation of my heart, my cheeks are on fire and my eyelids tingle. I long to whisper in your ears murmurings of my love for you, but words flee my mind in your presence. I am become so utterly engrossed with the thought of you that all other things are vanished from mind.

I beg you, dear heart, do not drive me to desperation, call me to you or otherwise make contact that I may be reassured of your need of me.

X X X

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Go to Love Letter 4 – https://julievparsons.wordpress.com/love-letters/love-letters-4/

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